“Ryder, did you drop it in the car?”
“I didn’t! The Bumps did it! It was bumpy in the car and they bumped me!”
“Ryder, the bumps did not drop your car. They may have made it hard to hold on to your car, but they did not drop it. I’ll get the car for you when we pull over.”
4-year-olds losing their car in the car might be the end of the world. Or just a momentary bummer.
What I didn’t include in the story above is the 3 other times my sweet, stubborn, ginger argued with me over the cause of his mishap.
Or the next time the car dropped AFTER I picked it up for him once in the car through which he firmly held his ground.
I had an AHA-Jesus-gave-me-kids-to-teach-me moment just then.
1. The car was bumpy and it makes it hard to hold on. How often do I blame my actions and reactions on my life situation? Life is hard. It’s bumpy. It makes it hard to hold on sometimes.
2. He dropped the car. TWICE. Sometimes, I mess up. Sometimes it’s a big deal. Sometimes, it’s not a big deal, but I KEEP ON DOING IT. It’s aggravating to myself — and to others, I’m sure.
3. I wasn’t even mad. THIS IS THE BIG PICTURE. I never asked Ryder to tell my why he dropped the car. He didn’t need to defend himself. He didn’t need to pass blame. BUT, something in him wanted to fight to preserve the appearance of innocence.
Sometimes, I think I fight a battle no one else showed up to.
No one is asking me to defend myself. There is no reason for blame. But instead of just saying, life is bumpy and sometimes we drop stuff, I launch an attack on the situation.
Sometimes, my mess up is big and hurtful. The bumps make it hard to keep a grip and most people that love me get that.
How much easier would life be if I didn’t fight useless fights and if I just owned the stuff that hurts the people I love?
Or if I just didn’t bring the stinking toy car onto the car-ride in the first place!
Seriously, kids always choose the smallest, most easily lost toys to bring in the car. It’s aggravating. But the children are cute.