When you don’t do what you do


Do you have something you do? Something that is just part of you?

Maybe it’s organizing your closet? I have a friend whose closet is organized by color and style of clothing. By color, I mean, light pink, hot pink and magenta are all separated by hue. This is serious business.

She, along with 2 other close friends, recently helped me move into a new house. When she came to my closet, she was so overwhelmed that she and one other friend spent the next hour reorganizing my closet to have some semblance of order. I, of course, appreciated this immensely 😉

Today, I look at my closet and am greeted with a ton of empty hangers and a pile of clothes in the “to hang” queue. She would flip her lid if she saw it! But, closet organizing is what she does. Closet organizing is NOT what I do. 

There are many other things that make her an incredible friend and a wonderful woman, but organization is one of her “things” one of her “quirks.” I’ll say it this way, if she were less O.C.D., she wouldn’t be her. And, that would be a tragedy. But, if you asked me who she is, I wouldn’t say “ridiculously organized.” I would use other words like “patient and compassionate wife and mother” . . . “Faithful listener” . . .

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I do. What is it that if I didn’t do it, my life would feel out of balance? Sometimes it’s something other people notice and sometimes it’s just for you.

A great leader said to find margin in your life (balance) you should focus on doing what only you can do. 

That sounds like a tongue twister, but there is incredible freedom in that statement.

There are really only 3 things in my life that ONLY I can do. 

1. Follow Jesus with my life. I am the only one who can allow my heart to respond to Jesus.

2. Be Richard’s wife. Until they put me in the ground or otherwise (I’m partial to cremation . . . less waste), I’m with him. We chose each other — he is my companion, and I’m his. I’m his earthly support. I’m the one that gets to be his closest friend. When I confuse that and pass off something else as a priority or try to support someone or something else with more fervor than I support him, I’ve missed it.

3. I am the only one that gets to be Ryder’s and Jayne’s mom. They only get one life, just like I only get one life. They only get one mom and they are stuck with me. The thing about marriage is we choose to say For Better or For Worse with someone. These poor kids of ours don’t get a choice. You’d better believe I’m going to do the very best I can, seeking as much help and wisdom as I can, to be a good mom to those little ginger crazies. I get to provide and model for them compassion, peace, strength, trust, joy, patience, and all that other stuff that I have struggled with my whole life!

There are really only 3 things in my life that ONLY I can do. The rest is extra. 

The rest can be fun. There are things I know I’m gifted at. There are things I enjoy outside of my home. I love my job. I love to write. I love to share the message of a God so big, yet so compassionate that he chooses to be close to us. I like to run. I love to read nerdy books and do yoga.

Those may be some of my things, some of my quirks, but they aren’t the main thing.

When I can keep straight what ONLY I can do, then I have the right lens to see the rest of my world through. THEN, I can add good things into my life, without forsaking the main thing.

At the end of the day, I have to be ok with everything else fading away to fight for what only I can fight for.

I can leave books unread and posts unwritten and closets unorganized if I am loving my God and my family well. 

That, my friends, may be the lesson of my life that I have not even close to learned.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s