Ode to the Ginger I choose to spend my life with

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Very little in my life has been steady. But, you are.

Very little in my life has spurred me toward Light. But you do.

When everything else is loud and fast and difficult. You remain quiet, calm and clear.

The world inside my head is a scary place to be, I’m sure . . . but you go there with me. You patiently allow me to process out loud the thoughts I would not share with others. And, you gently direct me to see the right path within the miry mess of life.

Very little in my life has led to certainty.

But, I am certain because you are sacrificial.

I am certain because you still see me.

I am certain because what makes you the MOST angry is when I misinterpret your intention to love me.

I am certain, and I am thankful.

I am thankful that in that first season, you showed Christ to me. When I was unlovable at best, you chose grace. I didn’t know that was an option for me.

I am thankful that in that next season, you showed Christ to me. When we made mistakes, you were humble enough to accept the grace of the Savior, which made me strong enough to accept it too.

I am thankful that in the season after that, you showed Christ to me. When Fear’s voice all but eclipsed the voice of Wisdom and Peace. When I was trapped inside my own mind, you sat beside me, and whispered to me reminders of the Light. You held my hand and laid beside me — you battled the darkness with me and reminded me that Love wins.

I am thankful for the next season too, in which you showed Christ to me. I watched you pastor students that were not your own. Students that had seen such brokenness. And, I saw your heart break for them as if you were their father. Their pain angered you and their stories brought you to tears . . . their stories brought you to your knees. I watched you beg our Jesus for healing in their lives . . . and I watched Him provide it through you.

Then, there is the season of sleep deprivation, in which you showed Christ to me. To see you as a Father has changed the game. I have no doubt that you will always give everything for your family. You have given time, sore muscles, dreams, sleep, pride . . . and, you have brought them to us like a precious gift. You do not hold your sacrifice over your family to remind us of all you’ve given. You just continue to give.

There is, of course, the season after that, in which you showed Christ to me. Change. I have this picture in my head of the harsh winds of a tornado coming and lifting everything around you up . . . lifting and spinning . . . dangerously flying around your head . . . while your feet remain planted firmly on the ground. Where things land after the tornado just determines for you where the clean up first begins. Work and change. Change and work. I have watched you lay down your dreams over and over again . . . not because you submit to lose . . . because you know what truly winning is.

And, there is yesterday and today, in which you still show Christ to me. Every Day. I am encouraged by your quiet understanding. The way you see the world as less than an emergency. I am challenged by your strong voice of truth. I need you. But, needing you has taught me how much I need our Jesus.

You are just the moon. Though the moon is a wonderful light in the darkness, it is only a reflection of the Sun.

Everything that makes you who you are is a gift from our Creator, who designed you to lead our family to His heart. But, it is to Christ we give. It is for Christ we live. It is as Christ we love. It is to Christ we run.

Thank you for showing Christ to me. And, for seeing Him first. 

family

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