He thinks he’s all by himself in there . . .

I imagine in a different time, nostalgia was more expensive. 

To look back on photos of your small children, when they were even smaller, would require developing the film of the camera used to take said photos.

And then, if you weren’t a schmuck (the jury is out on whether or not I am or would have been a schmuck – ok, it’s not. I’m a schmuck) you would put together a beautiful scrapbook – or photo album, at the very least.

Then, on special occasions . . . like birthdays, sad days, days your kids are yelling a lot, days your son keeps hitting his sister, days your daughter is extra sassy . . . days like those . . . you would pull out those momentos and remember the days when they were smaller – and quieter . . . and less sassy . . .

Today, we have TIMEHOP and facebook LOOK BACK. It’s become easy, free and normal to daily look back on this day 5 yrs ago. 

It’s almost made me lazy – technology will help me remember those moments. Every day, I get a notification on my phone to walk down memory lane.

But there are moments. Moments that have embedded themselves so deeply into my mind that I don’t need any memory aid to remember them.

When I first put Ryder into his navy blue and red rocketship pajamas. I actually considered buying them in every size leading up until graduation. Or, when Jayne was born and Richard was the one to catch her – and he brought her to me. When Ryder first said, “I love you.” 

And, then . . . there are moments which don’t seem to have as much significance, but I remember anyway.

Like this one:allbyhimself2

I know this is posted on facebook . . . and timehop will remind me of it in April . . . but I think of this moment often.

It was Ryder’s first playroom experience. We had the door open and a baby gate on the edge of the door. Both so we could see in, and so he could not get out.

And, the caption: “He thinks he’s all by himself in there :)”

That was a surreal moment for me, as a mom. I was so proud of him playing without my constant help, but I couldn’t stop watching him – secretly, of course.

I remember thinking then, and again this morning. This is us. 

We love the independence of this life. We love the freedom to dream, to decide, to create. We love having “our space.”

I wonder how often we mistake independence for abandonment.

Ryder was not alone – far from it.

He had boundaries of space in which he could decide how to play. Everything in that room had been set before him to choose from. I was watching. I was able to step in to offer safety or comfort AS SOON AS IT WAS NEEDED.

We are not alone in here – though we sometimes feel alone.

Immaturity and inexperience – maybe lack of trust – will lead us to behave as if we are alone.

All Ryder had to do was look up from what he was engaged in – and he would have seen my face.

All we have to do is look up to see the face of our Creator-Redeemer, who gives us space and freedom, but who never leaves us alone. 

And, maybe, when we trust His leadership and protection, we might venture out of the one room we have been confined in by the limits of our exploration and experience – trusting that God will never leave us, even in the unknown.

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

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