Obligatory I’ve just been to Vegas for the first time post . . .  I’m in a bit of a spiritual mood, so read on if you would like to hear what’s on my mind.

Las Vegas is incredible. Everything is so HUGE, so done up.

Thought from this week: Don’t book hotels online at large resorts for $21/night. This may seem like obvious wisdom, but here’s what happened:

We showed up at the Circus Circus, which isn’t the nicest hotel in Vegas, but it’s not the Motel 6, right?

WRONG.

So wrong, at least for us. We check-in after waiting in an airport quality line for 35 minutes and a sweet lady directs us to the “manor buildings.”  I’m just going to say, the Manor Buildings in a casino/hotel that has 3 LARGE TOWERS of hotel rooms just can’t be good.

We walk under the overpass and over to the Manor Building Compound, as I respectfully have titled it. There are 6 Manor Buildings. There is also a sign outside that warns “LOCK YOUR VEHICLES, DO NOT LEAVE PERSONAL ITEMS VISIBLE.” Then, once we have walked up to the second story of Manor C, we enter our room to the sound of a very heated argument that I do not understand. The sign on our “hotel” room door states “ALWAYS LOCK THE DEADBOLT WHEN YOU ARE INSIDE YOUR ROOM.”

I feel safe.

I walk in and try to hold back the few tears that are welling up and Richard looks at me and says, “Want to call and upgrade?”

SALVATION.

And, for only $10 more per night, we stayed in the Casino tower, which is actually IN THE HOTEL. Elevator to everything you need, front desk service, clean towels, THE WORKS.

I have never been more thankful in my life for the 7th floor with a view of construction. We went on to have a ton of fun experiences and see cool things. Such a fun time with Richard.

But, back to what I really wanted to write about.

You come to a place like Vegas and, at first, you think it’s amazing. How fun to see “little” versions of all the places people love to travel to. All while you can drink a beer walking down the strip. (It really is incredible)

At some point, don’t you realize that there is a lot of counterfeit, though?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. People come to Vegas – people escape their lives – to experience a pretend world that they don’t have to take with them.

Please don’t read that with judgement. We all need to get away sometimes. I just don’t really believe that pretending life doesn’t exist outside of the moment helps anything. I actually think it hurts us.

The heaviness for me set in Wednesday night on our 4.5 day trip to Vegas.

I think it was when I saw the women in red T-Shirts – MANY WOMEN – passing out cards for escorts. “Girls direct to you.”

This makes me SO ANGRY. I have no way to understand how defeated these women must be. Or deceived. I know it’s a way of life for too many people around our world, most often against their will. I also know that I believe in FREEDOM. I believe in a Resurrected Christ that gives people LIFE, not slavery. I’m not saying that every woman in that industry feels enslaved, but aren’t they?

Aren’t we all enslaved to something?

The darkness seems too thick. It was hard to breathe on Thursday. Now, I’m a passionate person and I feel most things more deeply than others I know, but I felt incomparably overwhelmed with a desire to push back darkness.

I want to be light in the midst of darkness, but HOW?

IT’S SO HUGE. There’s so much.

It’s easy for me to believe that I can make a difference back home. I know a lot of people who are surrendered to the light. I see it everywhere. Richard and I get front row seats to life and heart change ALL THE TIME.

I also see the darkness, but it’s familiar darkness. Something about unfamiliar darkness is just overwhelming. 

What can I possibly do? What can I possibly change?

I actually think that is the right question. 

Isn’t it funny that the words we commonly use to abdicate responsibility because of the magnitude of a problem are the exact words we need to ask ourselves?

What can I possibly change? 

There’s only one thing I control: Where I place control of my own life.

To fight darkness so big that it engulfs a city, a nation, an entire world – I have to do the same thing that I do to fight darkness in my own heart.

Fight it in my own heart.

Surrender to the light. If people live surrendered to the light wherever they are, darkness cannot survive.

Light ALWAYS extinguishes darkness.

Let me be clear. I’m not talking about bad people and good people. I’m talking about the spiritual struggle between good and evil. Good being the Creator Redeemer God of the Universe and His purpose. Bad being what is naturally inside of my heart and my purpose. We surrender to the Light — Good because if we don’t, we stay in the dark.

I want to be the kind of person that always chooses the real thing over the counterfeit. I want to inspire others to do so also.

I’m sitting in our hotel room this morning getting ready to head to the airport and snuggle my little gingers (who I have missed dearly).

It’s still dark outside, but day is coming.

P.S. Cirque du Soleil: Beatles Love was excellent! Gordon Ramsey Steak is the best meal I have ever encountered.

Also, LOVED SPENDING EVERY MINUTE OF THIS WEEK WITH MY MAN. God knew me well when he created Richard for me. (I like to think God does lots of stuff just for me ;))